What women may (or may not) want – the direct approach

(As always, every bit of what follows is true. However, certain key details have been omitted to protect identities. )

After using an internet dating service without much success for what seemed like far too long, our frustrated (but perceptive) hero realized two things. First, many women posted profiles in which they were ambiguous (or even contradictory) about what they wanted from a man – “someone who is careful with my feelings and always tells the truth”, for example. The second thing the guy recognized was that he had no earthly idea how to respond to such a situation. So, he decided to use the direct approach – ask. A woman whom he found extremely attractive had written that she wanted a man who was not only “very strong”, but who also had a “soft, sensitive heart underneath – a real gentleman with a warm sense of humor, who is honest to fault”. In reply to that, he laboriously composed a very nice email that ended with the following paragraph:

“There is one more thing that piqued my curiosity. When you ask one of those quintessentially female questions (“Do you think I’ve gained weight?” or “Does this dress make me look fat?” or “Don’t you just love ….. whatever or whomever?” or “Do you ever fantasize about someone else when you’re with me?”), should a man be “soft and sensitive” (big hug, no words); should he show his “warm sense of humor” (by laughing until he cries, without actually answering the question) or should he be “honest to fault”? “Yes, you’ve gained a LOT of weight. Yes, it makes you look enormous. No, since you asked, the truth is that I loathe it (or them), and yes, I frequently fantasize about other women, usually one of your closest friends”. 

Apparently entertained, the woman replied with, “Soooooo glad I amused you! Only have a minute this morning. More tonight, I promise. You must know that your message “amused” ME! kiss,” 

Emboldened by her flirty response, our hero decided to push the envelope: “Hmmm, ….. a kiss and a promise. 🙂 Were we ever married …. to one another? I send an email of 296 words and get back 24, along with a kiss (the word, not the act) and a promise of more …. more words!!!! Sounds suspiciously like a marriage to me …. although …. now that I think about it for a minute …. it seems pretty typical of my interactions with the fairer sex.  :-)” 

That’s all I’m at liberty to write about this particular topic for the moment, but there’s more …. I promise …. and there’s a point. The 296 word original email took more than an hour to write. You may want to bear that in mind when you read all that stuff about extremely effective first messages that are 25 words long and can be composed in five minutes.


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