“Woman Who’s NOT Honest Seeks Man Who Is”

Shocking though it may sound to some men, not every woman feels honor-bound to be unflinchingly accurate with respect to her age. In what seems to be a fairly common scenario, she enters a much later birth year when she initially creates her profile (thereby insuring that she shows up in more searches), and she then acknowledges her real age in her “About Me” section. Properly handled, this contradiction can serve as the starting point for an entertaining ice breaker of an email, but be careful, because the path that I’m proposing is fraught with peril. That said, here’s an example of one that was very well received. 

What you wrote in your profile amused me no end. I burst out laughing when I first saw it, and I’m still laughing as I type this, hours later. For that reason, I fervently hope that you will have as much fun reading this as I had writing it.

 Soooo …. you’re 52 instead of 44. Tsk, tsk, tsk …. while it’s admirable of you to confess that minor(?) transgression at the outset, don’t you think that you should modify your headline as well? Perhaps you could change it to something a bit more succinct and concise (not to mention accurate) such as, “Woman Who’s NOT Honest Seeks Man Who IS”, or maybe it flows better the other way around, “Female Who Is Dishonest Wants Male Who is NOT”  ……. (I’M JUST KIDDING!!!! )….. Incidentally, I also loved the instruction (order?? command???!!!) to those men who were not “put off” by your actual age to “please read on”. (Did you forget that men NEVER follow directions?) I mean it was a superb diversion; you refocused attention away from your misrepresentation by indirectly accusing the entire male population of age discrimination. (I’m not suggesting that we aren’t all guilty as charged, but your tactic was still hilarious … and completely charming.) Finally, I really liked the photographs. Were you actually in any of them, perchance? …. I’M KIDDING!!!  Really, I am, but I do hope that you laughed, and that you will reply.” 

A final thought. At 229 words, this email was 10-15 times longer than the “ideal” length that I see widely recommended, and it took far more than 10 minutes to write. On the other hand, the woman replied very favorably and promptly decided to meet the man. So once again, it appears that when it comes to the “online” part of online dating, your future is governed by only two things – how good you look (in your photograph) and how well you write. You can’t do much about the former, but improving the latter is simple. It’s NOT quick and it’s NOT easy. It takes effort and most importantly it takes time. But writing better profiles and emails is fairly simple.

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